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1. Practice forgiveness. How long must you punish yourself for past mistakes? People in your life already know that you aren’t perfect, and they love you anyway: for whom you are, which does not include “faultless”. Note if you are wholly dependent for a sense of self-worth on having a good performance or seeming to exude perfection. Create a mantra and leave it where you will see it to remind yourself to be forgiving. It could say something like, “I’m ok like I am”, or “Nothing is owed for that mistake; I forgive myself and let it go”, or possibly, “I am worthy of love because I have a pulse” (Ohlin, 2018). 
    
2. Employ a growth mindset. Those who have embraced a growth mindset have consistently been shown in research to embrace, rather than avoid, challenges. Growth-mindset people learn rather than shrink from criticism. They can appreciate others’ successes, in part because they can see others – through seeing themselves – with compassion (Dweck, 2008).
    
3. Express gratitude. We can foster gratefulness through a gratitude journal, gratitude walks, or even a stillness practice focusing on that for which we are grateful. By tuning in to what we do have rather than pining for what we don’t, we move the focus away from ourselves and our shortcomings and out to the big, gratitude-worthy world (Ohlin, 2018).
    
4. Be generous – at the right level. Positive psychology advocates assert that giving is important, but only insofar as it does not keep you from meeting your own needs. Research by Raghunathan (2016) has identified three reciprocity styles: giver, taker, and matcher. The givers are the most generous people, employing their compassion through giving. But for generosity to work, it shouldn’t be totally selfless: that is, given in a way that reduces one’s own wellbeing. 
    
5. Practice mindfulness. As above. Remember: it lessens self-judgment, positively impacting on self-compassion (Ohlin, 2018).

1. Unlock a client’s natural compassion. This can be done by helping clients to contact the deep wellspring of compassion residing in every person. Citing the discovery of neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, Desmond explains that we can activate clients’ “Care Circuit”, a primary emotional circuit in the brain which creates the experience of warmth, caring, and compassion. It is essential for bonding and caretaking in all mammals. Ask the client to focus on some object of their affection, such as a child, a pet, or a religious figure and to imagine sending that being love and compassion. The client then focuses on the feelings of warmth and openness that this engenders. As the client learns to unlock compassion for others, the Care Circuit can be directed toward their own suffering in order to create healing (Desmond, 2016).
    
2. Use compassion to transform suffering in the present. We can break this down into two steps: first, we simply ask the client to notice the suffering and to give themselves permission to feel exactly what they’re feeling (which is not the same as saying that they want to continue feeling that way: only that they aren’t fighting themselves on it). It is about recognition and acceptance. The second step is to respond to the recognised suffering with care and kindness, which might mean the client asking that part of themselves if there is anything it needs – and then listening for a response. The answer might call for action, such as leaving a dangerous situation, or merely reassurance, such as hearing, “No matter how this turns out, you still deserve to be loved”. 
    
3. Use compassion to transform suffering in the past. Here Desmond explains how we can use a process called memory reconsolidation, a fairly new discovery from neuroscience which enables clients to activate their Care Circuit at the same time that they activate a distressing memory. By getting in touch with the source of suffering (say, feelings of neglect from early childhood) and generating compassion in the same moment (say: loving-kindness directed toward the client’s “little one” to reassure that it won’t be neglected again), a new association is built in the brain so that the memory itself becomes less distressing. We can understand it as emotional healing on a molecular level (Desmond, 2016).
    
4. Help clients understand why they engage in self-criticism so that they can overcome it. True compassion means extending care and kindness to even the parts of ourselves that we consider to be dysfunctional or pathological. Desmond gives the example of a person doing something clumsy: say, spilling water on the floor. The uncompassionate response might be something like one’s inner critic leaping up to say, “You idiot! Now everyone will think you’re clumsy”. Many clients reckon that they would leap to their own defence at this point, telling their inner critic, “No, I’m not an idiot; everyone spills things sometimes”. The critic would insist otherwise and the two parts of the client would be off to the interpersonal races! To gain peace, Desmond instead advises slowing down the reaction (taking a deep breath) and bringing loving presence to the critic, by noting, “I hear you don’t want me to look clumsy in front of others. Are you trying to tell me to be more careful?” In this scenario, the client may be able to hear the warning part of the message (be more careful) without being “poisoned” by the criticism (“You’re an idiot”). It will take the client practice, but it can be done (Desmond, 2016).
    
5. Practice self-compassion. When you can model self-compassion, you put into the environment a vibration that promotes all-around healing and positive change, which helps all who enter your life to feel better (Desmond, 2016). 

References

1. Biswas-Diener, R., & Dean, B. (2007). Positive psychology coaching: Putting the science of happiness to work for your clients. Hoboken, New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 
2. Desmond, T. (2016). Five ways to put self-compassion into therapy. Greater Good. Retrieved on 4 April, 2019, from: website.
3. Dweck, C. (2008). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York, U.S.A.: Ballantine Books.
4. Emel, B. (n.d.). Developing self-compassion and learning to be nicer to ourselves. Tiny Buddha. Retrieved on 4 April, 2019, from: website.
5. Frederickson, B. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, March, 2001, 218 – 226.
6. Gordon, S. (2018). How self-compassion helps you cope with the ups and downs of life. Verywellmind. Retrieved on 4 April, 2019, from: website.
7. Neff, K. (2010). Self-compassion: Stop beating yourself and leaving insecurity behind. New York, New York: William Morrow, an imprint of Harper Collins. 
8. Ohlin, B. (2018). 5 Steps to develop self-compassion & overcome your inner critic. Positive Psychology Program. Retrieved on 4 April, 2019, from: website.